


Aftermath

by Jerry_Larchive



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Japril Fix-It, S14 Suggestion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerry_Larchive/pseuds/Jerry_Larchive
Summary: Twenty four hours after the explosion at GSMH, Jackson goes to April's room to talk about their relationship for absolutely the last time.aka   Hey Grey's Anatomy writers! How about we start off season 14 like this?





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> My wife says it's a guy thing. In general, when something is broken, women tend to want to talk about it for a bit to gather consensus and make sure everyone is ok with the fix. Guys tend to want to just fix the damn thing, especially if it's irritating that it's broken. The woman's approach is probably the most sensible one. 
> 
> But I'm a guy.

Jackson closed the door behind him, and was about to throw his keys on the counter when he caught himself and instead hung them on the hook by the door.

What a day! The hospital was still in turmoil after the previous night's excitement. It was miraculous that only a single life had been lost, and there wasn't much grieving around Grey Sloan for that one once word got around that he was the rapist who had caused all the trouble in the first place.

Jackson had spent most of the day treating Stephanie Edwards burns. They were severe and she was in a lot of pain but Jackson felt confident she would fully recover, provided of course she didn't get some nasty infection that always posed a threat with burn victims.

The time together had been good for both of them too, given their own turbulent history. Steph had told Jackson her plan for leaving, taking a break from medicine for awhile. Jackson had expressed complete support for her and he was relieved to realize that she would depart on good terms with him.

And then, of course, he and Maggie had talked and she had related what April had told her and they had discussed what that meant for them and the plans they had made. She had been insistent that he talk to April sooner rather than later and quit avoiding coming clean with his ex about his feelings. He had reluctantly agreed though now that he was faced with it, he wanted nothing more than to put it off just a little while longer. He and April had invested so much in their relationship that it seemed a shame to rush into such a major and far reaching change.

But who was he kidding? It was hardly _rushing_. This had been brewing since their trip to Montana and everything that had happened there. Montana had served to reorient Jackson's entire life, changed how he viewed the world and everyone in it, and planted the seeds of change that were now coming to fruition.

More seeds had been planted upon his return from Montana. One of those seeds was his relationship with Maggie Pierce. Little did he realize that treating her mother would have such a deep effect on his feelings toward her and in turn on the actions he had already begun to put in motion. He should have known that spending so much time with her in such an emotionally charged circumstance would have a profound impact on them. He had underestimated it. But somehow April had recognized it. Before even Maggie or himself really. And that meant exposure. And everyone would know. Most importantly, April would know the full extent of it. No more hiding and sneaking around behind her back.

He took a deep breath and then exhaled. He heard sounds emanating from her room at the end of the hallway. She was definitely home. And this talk was definitely overdue. So he steeled himself and reluctantly made his way toward her door. He noted on the way that his shoelace had come untied. No matter.

He paused in front of it. Light seeped out from under the bottom edge. He detected a rustling sound. He knocked. The sounds from the other side of the door ceased immediately. He waited for some sort of acknowledgment for his knock but none came. He realized he wasn't surprised. Maggie had warned him that she had sensed a profound sadness behind April's brave front. She said it had broken her heart and that was a major reason she insisted Jackson talk to his ex.

He knocked again and called quietly. “April, it's me. Please answer.”

Several more moments passed and Jackson was just about knock a third time when the door opened just six inches. April's face appeared. They looked at each other.

“Maggie talked to you.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Maggie talked to me. I talked to Maggie.” he answered.

Another long moment passed.

“Then there's not much reason for us to talk, is there?”

“Ironically that's what I want to talk to you about?” Without waiting for her response he pushed the door open and walked past her.

Her room, normally kept neat as a pin, was a disaster area. Jackson counted no less than three boxes scattered about the room. One had some manner of apparel draped over the edge. Two of her dresser drawers hung open, empty of contents. It was clear what he was interrupting.

“Not wasting any time are you?”

April maintained her distance, remaining by the door. “The sooner I can be out of here the better, for both of us.”

“I suppose you're right. It's probably better not to be around each other for the next little while.”

 _Little while?_ she thought. _More like ever again._ She looked down. “Your shoelace is untied.” she said for lack of something better to say. Plus, it always bugged her that Jackson could go around the entire day with his shoelaces untied. She was just a little obsessive compulsive that way. Bailey would understand it immediately.

Jackson ignored her shoelace observation, as usual.

“Where will you go?”

“I don't know yet. I just started looking at apartments today. But don't worry, I can go stay with Arizona until I find something more permanent.”

“Don't rush on my account.”

“Yeah, right.” she answered.

Jackson walked over to her dresser, which was still adorned with her favorite photographs. He picked them up to examine them. I guess he's decided to visit for awhile, thought April, suddenly exhausted at the thought. She left the door and went to sit on the side of her bed. She contemplated resuming her packing. Maybe then he would get the hint that he wasn't welcome in her bedroom right then. Or ever again, though she still couldn't quite wrap her head around that. But she would be damned if she wanted to talk about it with him. Even the multitude of questions that had spent the last twenty four hours rattling around her brain weren't worth the price that would entail.

Jackson picked up April's framed American Board of Surgery Certificate. He smiled. April felt like a knife was twisting in her gut. So much of them was associated with that certificate. Was he trying to torture her?

“Maggie said you saw me look at her last night and knew I had feelings for her.”

Great, he was intent on torturing her. “Jackson, I've got a lot of work to do and an early shift tomorrow so if you'll excuse me ..”

“I couldn't help but remember how surprised you were when I told you that I had feelings for you. But I guess I was surprised too. We both thought it was just a sex thing, remember?” he asked as he put the frame back on the dresser top.

April didn't answer. He hadn't expected her to.

“And remember when we thought you were pregnant and the test came back negative? That was another time when you just didn't get how much I cared for you. We just couldn't get on the same page could we?”

Why is he doing this to me, April asked herself? Haven't we both suffered enough? Must we take this painful walk down memory lane?

But Jackson apparently thought so because he continued. “But I guess I have to admit it wasn't all you, don't I? After the bus thing you finally told me the truth about your feelings and instead of doing the same I shut it down, didn't I? I remember thinking it was for the best, for both of us.”

April could only stare at him now. She was tempted to say something flip like _Maybe it was._ But she didn't. It would have been a lie. It would have been a denunciation of everything that came after. And even now, in her agony, she couldn't regret her answer to him that day, in that barn, despite the pain that followed, and the pain to come.

Instead, she finally replied to him. “Jackson, I thought I was clear. I'm done talking about this. I'm done talking about us. It's never helped. And it sure as hell isn't helping now. And please tie your damn shoelace.”

And then Jackson did the thing she least expected him to do. He smiled at her. And while her brain told her it was just a gentle smile of sorrow and sympathy for the end of something good, her heart warned her that she might, just might, be wrong about that.

He knelt before her to tie his shoelace, still smiling at her.

“What in the world are you grinning about?” she demanded. Even though he was finally granting her demand to take care of the shoelace, this smiling thing was really inappropriate and irritating the hell out her. This was no time for smiling!

“I'm smiling because you just made my point exactly.” he answered.

“Which is?” April asked in frustration.

“That we are the worst talkers in the world. Whenever we talk about, think about, analyze, us, we get everything wrapped around the axle. I'd realized that once before, during the whole divorce thing, remember?”

She did remember. She remembered every excruciating detail of that time, including the night she had expected him to demand a divorce and instead he had told her …

“when you quit thinking and just let yourself feel, just let yourself BE”

“I want you.” Jackson finished.

April felt dizzy. Why was he saying this? Why was he bringing all this up?

After a moment, Jackson continued. “But I forgot. I got lost again in all the thinking and talking. That's why the counseling didn't work. It was exactly the wrong thing to do. Because we suck at talking things out.”

In spite of herself, April smiled briefly. She had to admit, that assessment was honest and accurate. Even so, why this? Why now?

He read her mind. It was time once again to say it loud.

“Montana reminded me that its just as true today as it was then. For the first time in forever we let go of thinking about us, about all of our issues, and let caring for our patient and dealing with my father take over. And we did great things. Great things. Both in and out of the OR. And sharing it with you was the best part.”

April was stunned. Was he really saying what she thought she was hearing?

“But as soon as we got back you began avoiding me.”

“Well, that's not entirely true. Work played a large part in that both on my part and yours. You had that week in Chicago with my mother, remember?”

“And you got involved with treating Maggie's mother.” April nodded. Then the hope that had crept into her expression evaporated as she uttered that name. “Wait. You can't tell me I was imagining things the other night. You do have feelings for her, deep feelings, I know it.”

Jackson looked her straight in the eye. It was critical she got this. “You're absolutely right. I do have feelings for Maggie. Deep feelings. And she does for me too. Which is why I believed her when she told me I had to be honest with you about how I feel.”

April's expression fell again. So their circular route had brought them back to the same place in the end.

This time it was Jackson who read April's expression. He hoped this would end her misery once and for all.

“You know, growing up an only child, I never realized how great it could be to have a sister to confide in, who could provide some insight into how women think and feel about things. And give me some ideas about how to act on that insight.”

April looked up and met Jackson's eyes. He was smiling again.

“And especially who could go with you when you tried to find the perfect ring for asking the woman you love if she'll give marrying you one more chance. Because, you know, even if two people suck at talking about their relationship, but they are totally perfect at _BEING_ together, they should probably be married.”

And April realized that Jackson was still down on one knee in front of her. But now his hand was extended towards her. And the palm of that hand held a ring.

“So I know you don't want to talk about us any more. And I'm totally onboard with that. But I do need one more word from you. Will you marry me?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wonder what she'd answer?
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading. Love to hear if you'd like this or something like it next Fall?


End file.
